Found the Good In Goodbye

I didn't realize this until I looked up the weather online and saw today's date.

The 12th of May is an important day for me. Today I celebrate my first year of being single. My last relationship was tough, the ex-boyfriend from Hell is what he's fondly called now which is why the day he dumped me is a day worth celebrating. Yup, you read right. HE dumped ME, what I didn't realize at the time was that his lack of dedication to make things work between us was a blessing in disguise. I was set free, released from his emotional prison into the world where I would eventually find what I was truly looking for. I did find it at one point, and I guess the thought of me finding true happiness from somewhere (and someone) else other than him drove him to the edge which was why he felt the need to take everything away from me again. I blamed him for everything but looking back, I now thank him. The hell he put me through only made me stronger, better, and smarter. Through him, I learned exactly what I DON'T want in a partner, through his emotional and physical abuse, I learned the difference between a man and a boy. He always said I would be nowhere without him, I believed him at one point until I came to my senses. I am where I am today because I worked hard for it, I started taking risks because I became braver, my success had nothing to do with him.

I had a chat with a friend some time ago, we both went through the same kind of abuse with our ex-boyfriends. We both agreed that they were sent to us first to make us better, to shape us into the women our future knights in shining armor would fall head over heels for because as much as they tried to break us down for their own selfish reasons, they only made us better. In the meantime, we won't play the damsel in distress. We're tough enough to slay our own dragons. (hehe... slaying dragons. Sorry, inside joke. :p) For every challenge we've faced, a reward's at the end of the obstacle course, waiting for us so Jack Barakat, get your shit together. I'm coming for you.

12 months later, I'm taking risks 4000 miles from home with no intention of looking back and it was the best decision I've ever made. I finally landed my dream job, I'm back in the company of my truest friends and family, and I'm only motivated to go further, now more than ever.

I'd tell you what my future plans are but the truth is, I have no idea what I'm doing next but isn't that what being single is all about? It's one surprise after the next and you guys know how much I love surprises.

Broke Like A Mo' Fo'.

An Open Letter to Men Who Condone Domestic Violence.

This is something that's been bothering me for quite some time now. I've been analyzing and almost obsessing over the issue and I just can't seem to find the answers I'm looking for. Perhaps there's someone out there willing to shed some light on this issue for me. I know it's a crazy favor to ask a man who's committed a violent act towards a woman to openly answer my questions but who knows? The beauty of the internet is it's anonymity so here's goes nothing.

1. Why do you do it?
2. Do you feel that violence is the appropriate response?
3. Do you ever feel guilty after you commit the act?
4. How would you justify your actions?
5. Do you realize that there are laws against it?
6. How would you react should your own daughter/sister/mother find herself in a similar situation with another man?
7. Do you do it because you were neglected by your mother as a child?
8. Did your father ever beat your mother or any of the other women in your family?
9. Does it make you feel like more of a man?
10. What kind of pleasure do you get out of it?
11. What's your plan for when she finally decides to leave you?
12. How about if she decides to fight back?

For the men with friends who do it:

1. Do you support it?
2. Why or why not?
3. How far would you go to stop it?
4. Would it change the way you look at your friend?

Here's to a new beginning.

Jay's Weird Reasons For Not Going Out With You.

1. You like basketball. I will not be ignored for the NB fucking A.
2. You're too young for me. I don't care if we're the same age, you're still too young for me.
3. You can't drive. I will not be you're driver. Hell to the no.
4. You can't grow a mustache. Facial hair is sexy. It's a requirement for me. Sorry, bro.
5. I'm Globe, you're Smart... or worse, Sun Cellular. If you wanna get with me, there's some things you gotta know. Change your network.
6. You don't LOVE the Eraserheads. Do you even have ears? Seriously!
7. Your skin is smoother than mine. Not cool. I'm supposed to be the pretty one in this relationship.
8. Your boxers don't stick out of your jeans. It's another thing I find sexy.
9. You don't wear boxers, you wear tighty-whities! How are your boxers supposed to stick out of your jeans if you don't wear them? What are you, 12 years old? Real men don't wear man-panties!
10. You pronounce 'mango' as 'mengo'. Pet peeve. Get your diction straight.